The Minister for ‘Womens’ Affairs
Sent Goldilocks to visit the Bears.
The Bears were out and she had to go
In through an insecure window.
Three bowls of porridge were put (uncovered) to cool.
Really, that Mrs Bear was a fool!
One was hot enough to burn
It gave poor Goldie quite a turn.
The next was cold, and over sweet.
Only the third was fit to eat —
Cream AND sugar, fancy that!
No wonder the Bears are grossly fat.
She threw them out and wrote a diet
Left Full Grain Muesli so they could try it.
Now Mr Bear’s chair was soft and squashy
He wasn’t protecting his back, was he?
Poor Mrs Bear’s chair was very firm,
It really made Miss Goldie squirm.
But Baby Bear’s high-chair was far the worst
Goldie looked at it, and really cursed.
It needed a rollcage in case baby fell
A full safety harness was needed as well.
She’d pinch her wee fingers on that latch,
It should have a childproof safety catch.
Sighing, she went on up the stairs
Oops, handrails were needed, even for Bears.
The blankets were WOOL, bad for hygiene
Acrylic was much more easy to clean.
A goose-down duvet in the cot!
Did they want to smother the tot!
At the very least she would get too hot.
Goldie bundled and out the window
threw the lot.
She went back down to the bottom floor
Left her card, and went out the door.
When the Bears came back home later
Small wonder they hunted her down
AND ATE HER.